Hollywood is pushing the Friends with Benefits (FWB) trend into the limelight with recent release No Strings Attached, the soon to be released Friends with Benefits and an NBC sitcom titled Friends With Benefits. While the idea may sound enticing to some, it's not so practical in real life. This form of non-relationship – defined as friends entering into a sexual relationship without involving commitment or romantic feelings – is actually known to come with its own brand of awkward complications and can have serious repercussions. Take a moment to read why more bad than good often comes from these situations.
There are no clear-cut rules
In the recent movie No Strings Attached, Natalie Portman's character sets down a few rules like no sleepovers or morning after breakfasts. However, in real life, such rules are often left undiscussed. How many times a week should you see each other? Can you still hang out without the expectation of hooking up? What about calls and texts? These are just a few of the questions that could pop up in a FWB relationship. If rules and expectations aren't straightforward and concrete at the beginning, the situation can quickly turn disastrous. Even if you do hammer out some rules, what happens if someone breaks one or two of them? Your guess is as good as ours.
Feelings can get stomped on
As the previews demonstrate, Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake's romance in Friends with Benefits shifts from just friends to something greater. However, this is far from typical according the latest issue of Journal of Sex Research, which points out that in a majority of situations, the threat of unreciprocated feelings looms large. Ross and Rachel's FWB-ish situation on Friends actually lead to a final romance (and a baby!), but in reality it more often leads to confusion, anger and hurt feelings rather than romance. And while turning a FWB into a boyfriend or girlfriend is not completely impossible, statistics from a recent study by Wayne State University and Michigan State say that only 1 in 10 achieve the goal of a full blown relationship. After all, why enter into this type of non-committed situation if you're ultimately seeking something more?
Increased anxiety and confusion are often a by-product
Sure a Friends With Benefits situation seems easy enough – little time investing needed, no suave seduction techniques to master, close to zero emotional responsibility and practically no maintenance. However, according to the New York Times, a Michigan State study found that these types of relationships only seem to offer less anxiety, but they actually lead to more stress.
The study found that FWB relationships often reach the point where someone starts to develop feelings for the other, causing the person to worry that the feelings might not be reciprocated. This leads to lots of stress and unspoken questions about ambiguous conversations and actions. With everything already on a student's plate, who needs extra pressure?
Risk for STDs is greater
"When people tend to have sex with a friend, they tend to be more trusting that the person doesn't have a sexually transmitted disease and therefore fail to use a condom," says Peggy Giordano, professor of sociology at Bowling Green State University. A recent study conducted by Colorado State University assistant professor of psychology Justin Lehmiller backs up this school of thought. The study sampled 411 adults of all ages who admitted to having a FWB relationship at one point in their lives and found that people in these types of relationships may think they don't need to use protection because they see their partner as friend who is "safe." However, as researcher Lehmiller states, "By making this assumption, they may be putting themselves at greater risk, especially if their partner is not monogamous."
Loss of a friend is entirely possible
Engaging in a FWB situation could lead to the loss of a friendship that you held pretty high before the first kiss. This especially rings true for friends who could once talk about anything, but are now prisoners to the taboo topic someone may want to discuss – the situation itself. Every action is left open to interpretation, creating a haze of emotion over a friendship that was once crystal clear. In a recent study conducted among 125 Michigan State University students, one in four students who engaged in a FWB situation said they broke off the physical affection – and ultimately the friendship.
A Friends with Benefits relationship is such a grey area that it's no wonder Hollywood jumped at the chance to explore it. As we all know, things on the silver screen often have a happier ending than reality, so you may want to remind your residents of the dangers of exploring one of these relationships.
Hollywood is pushing the Friends with Benefits (FWB) trend into the limelight with recent release No Strings Attached, the soon to be released Friends with Benefits and an NBC sitcom titled Friends With Benefits. While the idea may sound enticing to some, it's not so practical in real life. This form of non-relationship – defined as friends entering into a sexual relationship without involving commitment or romantic feelings – is actually known to come with its own brand of awkward complications and can have serious repercussions. Take a moment to read why more bad than good often comes from these situations.
There are no clear-cut rules
In the recent movie No Strings Attached, Natalie Portman's character sets down a few rules like no sleepovers or morning after breakfasts. However, in real life, such rules are often left undiscussed. How many times a week should you see each other? Can you still hang out without the expectation of hooking up? What about calls and texts? These are just a few of the questions that could pop up in a FWB relationship. If rules and expectations aren't straightforward and concrete at the beginning, the situation can quickly turn disastrous. Even if you do hammer out some rules, what happens if someone breaks one or two of them? Your guess is as good as ours.
Feelings can get stomped on
As the previews demonstrate, Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake's romance in Friends with Benefits shifts from just friends to something greater. However, this is far from typical according the latest issue of Journal of Sex Research, which points out that in a majority of situations, the threat of unreciprocated feelings looms large. Ross and Rachel's FWB-ish situation on Friends actually lead to a final romance (and a baby!), but in reality it more often leads to confusion, anger and hurt feelings rather than romance. And while turning a FWB into a boyfriend or girlfriend is not completely impossible, statistics from a recent study by Wayne State University and Michigan State say that only 1 in 10 achieve the goal of a full blown relationship. After all, why enter into this type of non-committed situation if you're ultimately seeking something more?
Increased anxiety and confusion are often a by-product
Sure a Friends With Benefits situation seems easy enough – little time investing needed, no suave seduction techniques to master, close to zero emotional responsibility and practically no maintenance. However, according to the New York Times, a Michigan State study found that these types of relationships only seem to offer less anxiety, but they actually lead to more stress. The study found that FWB relationships often reach the point where someone starts to develop feelings for the other, causing the person to worry that the feelings might not be reciprocated. This leads to lots of stress and unspoken questions about ambiguous conversations and actions. With everything already on a student's plate, who needs extra pressure?
Risk for STDs is greater
"When people tend to have sex with a friend, they tend to be more trusting that the person doesn't have a sexually transmitted disease and therefore fail to use a condom," says Peggy Giordano, professor of sociology at Bowling Green State University. A recent study conducted by Colorado State University assistant professor of psychology Justin Lehmiller backs up this school of thought. The study sampled 411 adults of all ages who admitted to having a FWB relationship at one point in their lives and found that people in these types of relationships may think they don't need to use protection because they see their partner as friend who is "safe." However, as researcher Lehmiller states, "By making this assumption, they may be putting themselves at greater risk, especially if their partner is not monogamous."
Loss of a friend is entirely possible
Engaging in a FWB situation could lead to the loss of a friendship that you held pretty high before the first kiss. This especially rings true for friends who could once talk about anything, but are now prisoners to the taboo topic someone may want to discuss – the situation itself. Every action is left open to interpretation, creating a haze of emotion over a friendship that was once crystal clear. In a recent study conducted among 125 Michigan State University students, one in four students who engaged in a FWB situation said they broke off the physical affection – and ultimately the friendship.
A Friends with Benefits relationship is such a grey area that it's no wonder Hollywood jumped at the chance to explore it. As we all know, things on the silver screen often have a happier ending than reality, so you may want to remind your residents of the dangers of exploring one of these relationships.